Over the last 13 years Rev Dr Sam Wells has led a revitalisation at St-Martin-in-the Fields in London, building on its century-long reputation as a hub for faith and action, now humming with energy and new life. 

St Martin's has oriented itself towards the city around it, expanding its capacity for commerce, culture, compassion and congregational life in a thriving ecosystem that strives to be with the world as Jesus would. 

In the Church of England, famous for its longstanding Alpha Course and the newer Pilgrimage Course, Rev Dr Sam Wells together with Rev Sally Hitchiner in 2020 created "Being With", a new way to explore the Christian faith and life, arising from a theology of relationship and abundance.

Bishop of Dunedin Anne van Gend appreciated Dr Wells' challenge for Christians to open their eyes wider to find more in the well-known stories of Jesus' ministry.

"It's about our response to the vastness of God's desire to be with us. From that needs to flow the shape of our relationships with each other and with the world." she said.

This August, Dr Wells explained how "Being With" starts by questioning the assumption of limitation, the widely-held belief that humans cannot triumph – or be happy, – because of the limits that stop us. Limits caused by our bodies, our knowledge, our skills or resources.

Believing we have to overcome limitation, Sam Wells says, means human beings feel compelled to invest vast amounts of time and energy in gaining more education, more technology, more money to remove those limits. 

"But what if limitation is not our biggest problem? Sam asked the Christians gathered at St Matthew's Anglican Church in Dunedin on 20 August.

"What if our biggest problem isn't limitation, but isolation? Because if isolation is our human predicament, then the solution lies in what we already have – and that's each other."

Dr Wells went on to pinpoint the mismatch between Jesus' way of "Being With", (being present and attentive to others), to our more common Christian responses of  "Working For" (doing for others, ie. setting up a charity), "Working with" (working with others, ie. coordinating a community solution), or "Being For" (siding with others, ie. posting about a problem on social media).

Sam's insights on Being With gave Lindy Nevill from Upper Clutha Anglican Parish a different perspective on her volunteer cooking at "Friday Light," the community meal ministry she'd served in at St Luke's Mosgiel for 13 years.

"The whole idea of 'being with' instead of 'working for' is really interesting. When I look back on Friday Light I can see that while we were "working for", it facilitated a lot of the better part, spending time with people getting to know them, which was 'being with'."

"But at the same time it's hard to 'be with' when we are always asking each other first, 'What do you do?' That's us trying to justify our existence in the 'doing'."  

Dr Wells spoke of times he'd failed to "be with." For example with his mother, who was diagnosed with cancer when Sam was only five years old, then spent the rest of his childhood slowly dying. 

He remembered in the later stages of his mother's life that at 5.30pm he had the choice to leave her side for the kitchen to cook some food (that she probably wouldn't eat) or to sit with her and spend the time they had together. Too often, he recalls, he made the dinner.

He likened that choice to being the Martha, not the Mary, whom Sam says is the shining example of "Being With."  

Mary was fully present to Jesus in the story of Mary and Martha he said, and in her response to him we can see the eight ways of 'being with' another person: She was present, attentive, open to mystery and delight, a participant and a partner, she enjoyed the other and sensed the glory in that relationship (as the disciples later felt when their hearts burned on the road to Emmaus). 

Sam pointed out how seldom we focus on the years of "being with" that Jesus' spent outside Jerusalem. 

"We often pay attention only to the seven days that Jesus was 'working for' our salvation in Holy Week, and not the three years he was 'working with' the disciples in Galilee, or the 30 years that he was 'being with' people, as he lived among them." 

"If we are looking to follow Jesus, then how did we miss that 90% of Jesus' ministry was 'being with' people and only 10% was working for them or working with them?" he asked the Dunedin gathering.

Dunedin Diocesan Youth Ministry Educator Rev John Graveston said Sam's concept of 'being with' synced well with what's called for in family ministry. 

"The value of 'being with' is it recognises that we don't need the next best thing to bring children and young people into the church, but what we need is relationships." he said. 

Sam Wells took the power of "Being With" one step further, speaking of the Trinity itself as an expression of the essence of God – whose very nature is relationship.

"So then in the crucifixion, the isolation which is our primary human predicament is experienced within the Trinity. As Jesus cries 'Why have you forsaken me? That is the ultimate breaking apart of the relationship that is the Trinity." he said. 

Presbyterian Selena Mulder turned out to Sam's talk at St Matthew's in Dunedin, bringing her perspective from Te Vaka Tautua, a support programme for Pasifika kaumatua. 

"Being a Tokelauan, nobody is isolated where I come from... We eat together, we dance together, we sing together. It doesn't matter if you're Presbyterian or Anglican or whatever."

"It's all about 'being with' each other...We are people's people. People are valuable, from the moment you meet, to the moment you say goodbye."

Rev Dr Sam Wells is a prolific writer and in addition to the original  'Being With' course designed for people new to Christian faith or people who've been away,  several "carry on' courses focus on:

Being With Creation
Being With the other
Being With the end of life
Being With Church -(the confirmation course)
Being With the Bible
Being With your significant other

For more information on the work of St Martin-in-the-Fields and the Being With course go to: being-with.org

For books related to the 'Being With' courses you can choose from:

Being With: Courses for Living (Norwich: Canterbury 2025)
Constructing an Incarnational Theology: A Christocentric View of God’s Purpose (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press 2025)
Being With: A Course Exploring Christian Faith and Life: Leaders’ Guide (Norwich: Canterbury 2022) Second edition Being With: Exploring Life and Faith Together: Book 1: The Core Course (Norwich: Canterbury 2025)
Humbler Faith, Bigger God: Finding a Faith to Live By (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans; Norwich: Canterbury 2022)
With: Thoughts One Can’t Do Without (Milan: Juxta Press 2020)
Incarnational Mission: Being with the World (Grand Rapids and Norwich: Eerdmans and Canterbury 2018)
Incarnational Ministry: Being with the Church (Grand Rapids and Norwich: Eerdmans and Canterbury 2017)
A Nazareth Manifesto: Being with God (Oxford: Wiley-Blackwell 2015)
Living Without Enemies: Being Present in the Midst of Violence (with Marcia A. Owen; Downers Grove: IVP, 2011)

To purchase the Being With books, go to: The Canterbury Press - Being With.