While ending a ministry can be one of life's most difficult moments, Rev Silvia Purdie believes ministry endings can also be times of gratitude, blessing and a chance to release new possibilities. 

Silvia recently spent three years researching what people experience in their major ministry transitions, resulting in a book called ‘Moving On’ which explores the complex nature of grief in ministry. 

In September this year she'll be sharing some of those insights in an online seminar that picks up on this key moment in the life of Christians serving in responsible roles in ministry.   

Silvia says that churches love to celebrate the beginning of a new ministry, and says we easily see the hand of God at work in a new appointment.

But she believes ministry endings are harder, and when not handled well can have negative consequences on both communities being served and those who have a call to serve.

"If an Installation or Induction service feels a bit like a wedding, the ending of the appointment can feel like a messy divorce."

"Even when a ministry ending is expected and well planned for, there is grief and a mix of emotions as relationships end or change." 

Priest in the Diocese of Waiapu Rev Alister Hendery, who has written extensively on grief, shared his reflection on grief in an early career ministry ending in Purdie's book Moving On.

“Following that experience I carried for some years a deep sense of failure and shame, accompanied by feelings of anger and resentment. It took me time to acknowledge the depth of the loss and grief, but when I finally did, I was able to recognise the gift that this experience of loss has become. Looking in the rear vision mirror I see the gradual process of transformation.”

In interviewing ministry colleagues, Silvia was shocked by how many opened up to her about past hurt, often for the first time.  

Silvia has identified aspects of clergy roles that create unique challenges for endings. One is that because clergy carry high levels of confidentiality, they have few avenues to work through their own emotions. They don’t want to burden family or breach confidentiality, so professional supervision can be the only space to work through conflict and grief. But when a ministry ends, so does supervision. 

“Healing and recovery requires of us a commitment to be honest with ourselves and with God. One tool that I recommend is to sit with the points of pain in scripture, using our minds, our hearts and our bodies. Journaling and poetry is powerful, and so is physically enacting biblical themes such as exile or being ‘crushed’." 

As grief of any kind is tiring, Silvia advocates creating space to rest, even in transition times such as moving jobs or houses.

“Why do we expect ourselves to jump straight from one thing into the next?”she asks.

Rev Silvia says another unique challenge in ministry endings is the deep conviction of calling to a role, which can create a crisis of identity and purpose when a position comes to an end.

“My sense of call as a parish minister was a powerful, almost tangible thing. I could not get to the point of resigning until I 100% knew in my spirit that God was releasing me from my call to that place, to those people. It was a very difficult thing to go through, and it took me a long time afterwards to re-form my sense of who I am.” 

In his contribution to 'Moving On', the Very Rev Fakaofo Kaio, a former Moderator of the Presbyterian Church, highlighted the intensity of ministry endings within the shared nature of ministry and leadership in Pacific Island contexts. 

“We take ministry wholeheartedly. My family have sacrificed for my ministry, prayed for me, been part of my ministry. When you are doing well, your family is lifted up, your whole whanau community is acknowledged and praised. But when a ministry does not go well and ends abruptly, a cloud hangs over not just you but over your whole family.”

Fakaofo calls on the church to do better in this zone. 

“Ministry should start and end well regardless of what happened. We need to do it well so that we honour our call to serve, and respect it as a life-long call.” 

Silvia Purdie highlights key components of ending a ministry well. 

“Endings work best when our hearts keep pace with the formal processes. So attend carefully to the decision making and information sharing. Where there is conflict this requires support from outside the parish, which can be a real strength of the Anglican structure.” 

“The goal of farewell is to bless one another with God’s peace. Hopefully, by the time we come to the point of a ministry ending we can face each other in honesty and gratitude, to embrace and release each other.”

Methodist hymnwriter and English Professor Colin Gibson wrote a song on ministry endings for inclusion in ‘Moving On’ whose chorus repeats:

In each end a new beginning,
in each close an opening door.
Bless this ministry now ended,
lead us through what lies before. 

An online education seminar introducing the ideas and approaches to healthy ministry transitions in Silvia Purdie's book 'Moving On' is available to join with a $30 fee, running from 1.30-3.30pm on Wednesday 17 September.

Rev Silvia Purdie is a Presbyterian minister based in Upper Hutt, where she works as a counsellor and supervisor. Info about her seminar on ministry transition is at: www.conversationscounselling.nz/seminars