The death this week of one of the richest women in England, apparently from an overdose of drugs, underlines the extraordinary paradox of wealth.

Those of us who are not especially well-off – or more significantly feelourselves not to be well-off – rather childishly imagine that having unlimited riches would gloriously allow us to do all those things to make ourselves happy. We cannot imagine it being anything other than unmitigated pleasure to have all the houses, cars, yachts, friends, parties,art works, holidays we desire.

And this in the teeth of experience that teaches us that having things is an exercise in diminishing returns – once the basic needs are met and the basic pleasure experienced, the curve of reward falls off – you do get a lot of pleasure from owning one sports car but you don't get twice the pleasure from owning two, or 10 times the pleasure from having a collection. The pleasure may evaporate altogether.

Once you have eaten a fine meal,you do not need more food, and once warm enough, you do not need to pump up the central heating.  We know this, but continue to envy the rich.

We should look closely at those of the rich who appear to be content. They have passions, hobbies, philanthropic activities. 

They have more time to pursue these, and can achieve a great more than the rest of us, but the pleasure to be derived from commissioning a new wing for the Maritime Museum is not very different in kind from putting in a stint redecorating the local Maritime Centre  – both are doing something you enjoy for the greater good. 

And money has a very limited impact on the achievement or the pleasure – no amount of money can make me a better writer or bring me better friends. 

There is a basic level of material comfort we all require, but beyond that nothing rewards except friendship, family love, and fruitful work. The sooner we all wake up to this fundamental truth and get on with the ordinary business of happiness, the better for us all.

Imogen de la Bere is a Kiwi writer living just out of London. She writes regularly for Taonga magazine.